Friday, July 8, 2011

Is There Such a Thing as a Free Lunch?

     At essentially every school in the United States, hats that aren't part of the school uniform, or are important as part of a student's religion, are not allowed in the school. This rule has been taught to us since age five, but still, I know far too many people who constantly whine about how "unfair" and "dated" the rule is. Really people? Come on. Honestly, most of what pisses me off about it is people who pride themselves on their maturity and intelligence start acting like five-year-olds about it. The ones that they constantly back-sass teachers who tells them to take their hat off. teachers who are, as a matter of fact, doing their job. Further, they can't provide any real reason to why we should be allowed to wear hats in school, other than how it's a relic of a bygone age, and how they don't want to take their hat off.

     Get it together people. First off, why on Earth is it so important for you to wear a hat inside school? If you go to school anywhere below the snow line, you won't freeze to death in the classroom, honest. For me, I 90% of the time I wear hats is when it's near or below freezing, and my ears will fall off if I don't. I take them off as soon as I get inside because of respect for wherever I am, showing that I don't plan to run out, and because my head just gets too hot, and it's uncomfortable! The other 10% of the time, it's when I'm in scorching Nevada-like (Or plain old Nevada) sun, and I don't want my eyes to be burnt out. School's fluorescent lights will not blind you (I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone with that, if you have a medical condition that necessitates wearing hats and are offended, please email me and I'll buy you lunch or coffee or something). And truth be told, as far as warm-weather headgear goes, it would just make your head hotter in class. If you want to wear a baseball cap to represent your favorite team, there are tons of other ways to do so, and much better times as well. I assume that a fair amount of people want the "toughness" or "anonymity" that comes with wearing a hat. Sure, you see lots of gangstas doing it, and hats sometimes make it harder to identify you, but two things, first, you know who liked anonymity? This guy. Secondly, this may shatter your entire world view, but you have to see your teachers almost every day for an entire year. They will know who you are. The most common thing I see however, is that people want to look fashionable. Honestly? At the most basic level, hats really aren't in fashion anymore. When I see a young person wearing a hat for the sake of wearing a hat, nine out of ten times I look at them and think "Asshole" to myself. I will just put it out here now, that you look fine without a hat, hair is an astonishingly beautiful thing, and most hats are rather unbecoming. I'm not going to pretend that fashion isn't important in school and all, but if a hat is that essential to impress your friends, wear it outside of school.
     Hats really are distracting. I'll say it now. Not because people will get their attention drawn to it or whatever, I don't give a damn, but because they get in the way of me seeing the front of the classroom. That's not only a jerk move, but that's impeding everyone else's ability to do well in a class, all because someone decided to wear some ridiculous hat to class one day.
     Moreover, hats are the easiest article of clothing to knock off or steal, and allowing hats in school hallways would undoubtedly lead to more guys trying to start fights or show that they have the most testosterone by knocking each other's hats off and stealing them and such. Not good.
     Lastly, it's a matter of respect. I truthfully don't care if people aren't expected to wear hats whenever in public anymore, it is still a sign of respect in western culture to take your hat off before entering a building. That is just a matter of showing that you are grateful to be there and appreciate whoever is hosting you. People will always take their hats off when the star spangled banner is played, out of respect for the flag, what it stands for, and how many people have died for it. Now think about our schools, without them, and our education, America would not resemble the country we are today. We wouldn't have any of the knowledge that makes us functional members of a society, and allows us to import so many engineers for all over the world. We would be back in the Stone Age, and I'm certain most of us (myself included) wouldn't make it. So show so damn respect and take your hat off before you enter school.

*Please Note: None of that was addressed to people whose religious convictions require them to wear a hat, I personally think that that's pretty awesome. Also not addressed: Active Military Personnel, People who have medical conditions that require them to wear a hat, Capelad, and Pirates. If you fall into one of those groups and were offended by this, please send me an email, we can grab some tasty coffee and/or tea and get to know each other.

1 comment:

Nemo said...

Dear Hemostat,
You have fully surpassed me in your ability to write clear-eyed topical spiels. I am going to kill myself because that was the one thing I still had. This is the end.