Monday, August 29, 2011

Ending Notes

     It's the anniversary of this blog. Three years ago I had some spare time, but that is in no way the whole story. Here's the compiled posts of August 13th, by Treat, aka Nemo. The unedited versions are still available, all I've done is made them easier to read chronologically, and linked parts of the same posts.





America sucks and adventures are not so great and rem albums are not worth collecting and i may contradict this in the past or future but this is my true opinion. I can never take this back. Furthermore treat is not greek and i think hes dreamy

Sop

This is bryan. I am being held hostage in a closet. Everything you have read on this since late 2008 has been the work of an imposter. He is keeping me here and the address is oh god here he comes send help

THIS IS REAL BRYAN I AM DOING BRYAN THINGS SUCH AS ENJOYING THE FILM DARK KNIGHT THE FILM NO CAUSE FOR CONCERN WHAT YOU HAVE READ ON THIS BLOG IS A FUNNY PRANK HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Disregard all previous posts i am the real bryan . A ten foot tall superman born in a cabin in tenesee, i am more myth than man. I am a mirror of what we all hope to see in ourselves

Pardon me while i wage existential warfare against my dissociated personalities

If elected as primary bryan i will exhibit such eccentricities as believing in space aliens and bigfoots

Congress of bryans is now in session

Congress of bryans resolves that fight club is a fucking rad movie

Congress of bryans resolves six more weeks of winter. It has been a poor day for politics

Congressman bryan introduces cats are fuzzy resolution. Motion is soundly defeated because in his own tortured mind nothing is truly fuzzy

Bryan can now think of nothing but cats

As his mind sinks further and further into delerium, his childlike preoccupation is the only solace from the darkening down of his mind

Congress now suspended, all that remains is the reptilian side of his brain. Society has created a monster

Fixated on cats, monster Bryan lurches out in to the world. All he ever wanted was to be understood, but now hugs from adorable kitties are unattainable. Cats flee his horrible visage. Sad and alone, he finds his way to a local zoo

For one moment he feels the warm embrace of the lion. The cruel machinations of society tear him from love once more

And as he looks over this great land from the folklorish status his exploits have attained, he feels a great emptiness. One to which nothing can relate

The shattered man realizes he has a new purpose now. The time has come to walk the earth

Every animal shall be liberated, every family vacation turned off the main roads, every soul-sucking job brought to a grinding halt. For this shell of a man saw what we could not. The truth we could not face, he bore down on with all the heroism this modern world could afford. If life was a void this would be the idea of a sunrise. Life would have meaning. Kitties would reciprocate hugs. This is the true story of this blog. Powers beyond our understanding want it to be silenced, but the world will know. For these are the lives, and these are the times...of a stupid ginger








Wednesday, August 17, 2011

New Projects, New Days

       I don't think I'm going to be posting on this blog a whole lot anymore. At least for the time being most of my effort will go into talking to actual people, and the Cartbike Chronicles. (It was initially the Cartbike Diaries, but I like Chronicles more. Alliteration!) I debated with myself for five minutes whether or not to put a period or an exclamation point after "alliteration", but I decided to keep the same tone as the rest of this blog.
       I'm leaving because of a couple reasons. this blog has served it's purpose, and I don't need it for the time being. Maybe someday I'll call on it. Maybe. I've got to concentrate more on Cartbike, and that Treat effectively finished it. Things are going really well, which is part of the reason I don't need it anymore, but I can't help but feel a pang of sadness that I'll be leaving the Life and Times of a [Stupid] Ginger.

If you want to see me, in the future visit http://cartbike.blogspot.com , in the present, there's 350-odd posts on this blog.

Love you.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

(3/4) the idea of a sunrise. Life would have meaning. Kitties would reciprocate hugs. This is the true story of this blog. Powers beyond our understanding want
(4/4) it to be silenced, but the world will know. For these are the lives, and these are the times...of a stupid ginger
(2/4) man saw what we could not. The truth we could not face, he bore down on with all the heroism this modern world could afford. If life was a void this would
(1/4) Every animal shall be liberated, every family vacation turned off the main roads, every soul-sucking job brought to a grinding halt. For this shell of a
The shattered man realizes he has a new purpose now. The time has come to walk the earth
And as he looks over this great land from the folklorish status his exploits have attained, he feels a great emptiness. One to which nothing can relate
For one moment he feels the warm embrace of the lion. The cruel machinations of society tear him from love once more
(2/2) Cats flee his horrible visage. Sad and alone, he finds his way to a local zoo
(1/2) Fixated on cats, monster Bryan lurches out in to the world. All he ever wanted was to be understood, but now hugs from adorable kitties are unattainable.
Congress now suspended, all that remains is the reptilian side of his brain. Society has created a monster
As his mind sinks further and further into delerium, his childlike preoccupation is the only solace from the darkening down of his mind
Kitty!
Bryan can now think of nothing but cats
Congressman bryan introduces cats are fuzzy resolution. Motion is soundly defeated because in his own tortured mind nothing is truly fuzzy
Congress of bryans resolves six more weeks of winter. It has been a poor day for politics
Congress of bryans resolves that fight club is a fucking rad movie
Congress of bryans is now in session
If elected as primary bryan i will exhibit such eccentricities as believing in space aliens and bigfoots
Pardon me while i wage existential warfare against my dissociated personalities
(2/2) all hope to see in ourselves
(1/2) Disregard all previous posts i am the real bryan . A ten foot tall superman born in a cabin in tenesee, i am more myth than man. I am a mirror of what we
(2/2) PRANK HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(1/2) THIS IS REAL BRYAN I AM DOING BRYAN THINGS SUCH AS ENJOYING THE FILM DARK KNIGHT THE FILM NO CAUSE FOR CONCERN WHAT YOU HAVE READ ON THIS BLOG IS A FUNNY
(1/2) This is bryan. I am being held hostage in a closet. Everything you have read on this since late 2008 has been the work of an imposter. He is keeping me
(2/2) here and the address is oh god here he comes send help
Sop
(2/2) opinion. I can never take this back. Furthermore treat is not greek and i think hes dreamy
(1/2) America sucks and adventures are not so great and rem albums are not worth collecting and i may contradict this in the past or future but this is my true
On the way over here, I was biking at speed with a .SmartCar to make the driver feel self concious.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Oh Google...

Why would I be looking for Weather Reports? Also, I need to program a hotkey for screenshots. That took far too much effort...

     Also, it's the Return of the Bike Moustache Pictures (an allusion to the fact that I'm watching all six Star Wars.) thanks to some Google App called Instant Retro!




Tuesday, August 9, 2011

So, um...

Why is it that "Cowboys and Woolly Mammoths" is the most-viewed post on here? I'm actually really confused and curious to find out.

Separation, Humanity, and Cynicism

     I'm not sure why she cut our friendship off so quickly. I want to say bluntly, it was frank and abrupt, but it was concise, and quick, and sharp. You can't cut through something so cleanly with a blunt knife, it has to be honed to a razor's edge. But truthfully, I don't blame her at all. Clearly I did something to offend her, and I'm man enough to accept the repercussions for my actions. The thing that worries me is how easily I'm letting it go. I don't have some personal problem with her, she never offended me, but I understand that she wants to end it, and I'm letting go too, because it's the "adult" thing to do. Why? Why is letting someone go with whom you'e shared so much what society demands of us? Because to me, not letting those close to you leave you over some trivial matter seems like the mature action. I'm not losing a book or a set of keys, so why do I care less than if I were? I'm losing a human being for God's sake. Why is it that we can't run back and tell them how much they mean to us, how important they are, and how we truly value them? Because we're supposed to respect their space and opinions? I understand that, and I guess that's why I'm so okay with letting go. Because any further attempts would look childish, that I'm too insecure and vulnerable to let her move on. Or worse, that I'm invading her space, refusing to recognize her boundaries. But that to me seems childish. Under the vast majority of circumstances, at least the tiniest bit of the brain longs for those you've shunned to come back, and try to get you to take back what you've said and done. Why do we have to ignore, and forget all of good inside of a person you know and love to accept the stone cold exterior, and the words coming from it.
     But I understand that I have to move on. I can't keep dwelling on pain or sadness, and I have. It's our natural defense function, but it's scaring me how efficiently it works, especially recently. It's that part of me that knows it's my life to live, and I can't get hung up on what someone said, even if they are a close friend. I'm not going to waste my life striving for some unrequited affection or attention. Part of me wishes that I could, that human interaction is what the human experience is about. But I also know that there will always be people I can turn to, people that can help get my mind off of things, at least for a little while. As far as that goes, I could go out and meet new people, gain new experiences and become a part in more people's lives. The part of me that knows it's my life, is too often confused with some belief that tells me that no one is looking out for me as  much as I am. That's not true. I know there are people looking out for me, who love me just as much if not more than I love them, but it's a consolation. Though it is a childish consolation. I may be the one living my life, but that by no means means I'm the center of it.
     Part of me wants to have her come back, and we'll forget about it, and move on. The other part of me wants to hold a petty grudge and refuse to let us be friends again. I'm not going to let something silly ruin this any more than it has, but I'm not actively hoping for anything. It's part that I don't let myself, and I realize that it may well never happen, and part just moving forward. Not putting energy into a wish upon a star, or wasting money on the lottery. It could pay off well, but I have better things I could be doing with my time and energy, even my hope.
      I went through a stage of bewilderment, and I asked myself, "why?" I know that digging won't help with anything, or change what's already happened. So I ended that stage, glazed myself over with apathy. But I feel that it's a legitimately based ignorance of that question. It won't do any good, and it doesn't matter. It's not like History, the circumstances that caused the collapse are impossible to replicate, so learning from my mistakes, however wise, won't apply in the future. Part of me wonders if it was karma coming back to bite me, if it is, I've paid for it duly, maybe even thricely with this.
     I feel as though society is training us to be outrageously cynical. It demands it even. We think that people trying to take us back are rude and annoying, and if they are sincere, than it's only for some personal gain of theirs. I feel like it adds more power to when people do show honest emotion and sensitivity. Look at politicians for instance, we expect them to be emotionless, we demand them to be "professional" and "sophisticated", which really means restrained and cold. (Also, look at the first Thesaurus entry for Sophisticated.) But then, when under duress, their exterior facade cracks, and politicians show genuine emotion, the power of it is staggering. Should this come at the price of shutting ourselves off to the people around us? I understand that there is a time and place for it, and that there are some things that require us to be calculating and disavow emotions, if only for a short time. I accept that. However, the way we talk to each other the rest of the time. A little compassion couldn't possibly affect 90% of the jobs out there, so why is so much of the talking we do with our co-workers disingenuous small-talk? Why are we supposed to trust someone before we can talk to them about meaningful things? I can't imagine harm coming to me because I told someone how I really feel about someone, especially it was in a positive light, or what I plan to do after School, or how I feel about myself. But I restrict myself,  because it's just not what people do, and for some reason I let that control me. I shouldn't, and I can't, but I do anyway. I let those people go, and I feel bad for how easy it is, even though I know it would feel worse if I didn't. Part of me just wants to feel anything at all.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Wednesday, August 3, 2011