Saturday, July 17, 2010

I Want Car Speakers Measured on the Fujita Scale

Well, there really isn't anything special. I just spent the last two weeks in the Appalachians, hiking and camping and whatnot, but for some reason I'm not content just sitting in my house. Anyway, I got a super cool lava lamp at Goodwill for $5, and went to "I Write Like" to analyze that earth day story, and evidently:

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft
I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Anywho, here's an awesome song.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Stories and Poems

Um, so my blog is being neglected a lot lately, so I'm going to post a bunch of stories here. I would spread them out a bit, but I'm going to the Blue Ridge Mountains for a couple weeks, so there is no interweb. Anyway, here they are:

Fluorescent Lights

Fluorescent Lights,
Illuminating City Nights,
And dispelling childhood freights.

Fluorescent Lights,
Suspended at heights,
Comforting sights.

Fluorescent lights,
Glowing white,
Glowing bright.

*   *   *   *   *   *

Light me up,
I tried to say,

But I can’t talk,
There’s just no way,

I sat dim and tired,
Throughout the day,

But at night you come,
And I’m ready to say,

“Light me up,
I’ll be here to stay!”


*   *   *   *   *   *   *   

A Wish Gone Amiss
[Note to self, replace crappy title]

Jerry was walking through the playground on his way home from school, something he did every day, when he suddenly saw a tree, in the middle of the field. He swore that there wasn’t one there yesterday, and went over to investigate. The tree seemed normal at first, until he saw an odd shaped root, infact, it was shaped just like a doorknob. Curiosity took over, and he pulled on the root, and a chunk of ground came up, just big enough for him to crawl through. Ignoring caution, he jumped in the hole, and found himself in what looked like an alchemist’s cave. A cauldron was sitting over the fire, creating a strange, green fog. Bubbling concoctions lined the table, and jars full of bizarre animal parts. Jerry was engrossed in this, when suddenly a hand touched him on the back.
“Why hello there, you’re the first person to come in today. I assumed that I’d meet many more people with this location.”
“What? Who are you?”
“My apologies, allow me to explain myself, I’m Frederick Von Schilfen, time traveling mad scientist. I came to your day an age to bring back some samples of your superior paper, parchment is far too expensive, and I like the feel of paper more. Would you be interested in lending me some? You will be compensated for your loss of such a valuable item.”
“Umm, sure. Here’s some,” Jerry said as he handed Von Schilfen a stack of notebook paper, “what was this compensation?”
“Thank you, thank you, and thank you! This paper is excellent! You can feel free to choose any of those containers, each have their own magical properties. The big round one allows you to procure unlimited amounts of food, the square one will allow you to speak to animals, that small glass vile allows you to make three wishes using the dust in it, and the-”
Jerry’s eyes lit up as soon as he heard the one about 3 wishes. He knew instantly what he’d wish for. He turned back to Von Schilfen, “I’ll take the one the one with the wishes.”
Von Schilfen sighed, “Well, be careful, most wishes don’t go, according to plan, per say. And if something goes wrong, you can’t un-wish it, you have to wish again to counter it. Are you sure?”
“Yes. I’m sure,” Jerry said as he took the vile. He walked out of the cave, and took a better look at it, “Yes…”

Once he got home, Jerry took the vile out of his pocket. He rolled it around a couple times in his hand, before taking a pinch of the powder out of it, throwing it in the air and exclaiming, “I wish I had a dinosaur!!” He waited. Nothing happened. Assuming that he’d just done something wrong, Jerry turned around and went inside. He pulled out some toaster waffles for an afternoon snack, and just as he was putting them in the toaster, a tremendous roar came from just outside.
The sudden noise caused Jerry to drop one of the waffles. Looking down Jerry bent over to pick up the waffle, “Whoops.” Then it hit him. He didn’t wish for a peaceful sauropod, he had just wished up a dinosaur, and a big one at that. “Whoops.”
Looking out the window, he saw the legs of a dinosaur, at least as big as his house. He ran outside, and saw, in living flesh, a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
“Uh-Oh.” The seemingly inconspicuous utterance drew the T-Rex’s attention. The 40 foot tall lizard began to charge, and Jerry started sprinting down the street. He pulled out the vile, “I wish for another dinosaur to fight off the T-Rex!!!” Jerry yelled without thinking.
Jerry turned around. The T-Rex wasn’t following him anymore, instead, it was running away from him, and had been chased away, by a bigger T-Rex. Jerry bolted to the park, hoping that he could find some cover. As he looked over his shoulder, he saw the larger T-Rex gaining on him. Jerry sprinted to the stream, there was a tunnel he could hide in.
As Jerry slogged through the stream, he came to the tunnel, and hid inside. It was damp, and near pitch-black. The earth suddenly trembled. The T-Rex was trying the dig Jerry up. He pulled just enough powder left for his third wish, “I wish- for a Unicorn to fight off the T-Rex!” Suddenly, the trembling stopped. Jerry cautiously moved to the entrance of the tunnel, to find the unicorn battling the T-Rex. They continued until the unicorn emerged the victor. Jerry walked out of the tunnel to thank the unicorn, when it started to gallop down the streets, going to finish the job.
Jerry flipped on the Television, and began to changed channels. He passed by the local news station, and momentarily saw hundreds of people surrounding the body of a T-Rex. Looking around, Jerry quickly changed the channel, and pretended as if nothing had happened.

*   *   *   *   *

His eyes bolted open, and he was drenched with sweat. He had the same nightmare again, the one he’d been having for the past week. But he was alone in his starlit cabin. With a sigh Scott gave up on trying to fall asleep, and went stern side. Looking out on the stars, he thought back to what had happened.
In the year 2730, Mars was engulfed in a civil war. No one had suspected that the New Faction would set off a disruption bomb in the lower atmosphere, within ten years, the conflict had ended, but the planet was falling apart. Phobos was the first to cut off trade when Mars began to lose its atmosphere, the other planets soon followed suit. Scott had been on one of the last ships out, watching with horror as he abandoned the planet he called home.
Now they were headed towards Earth, the birthplace of humanity, a cradle of life in desolate space. He had been told stories as a child, stories of vast oceans and green forests, as far as one could imagine. But he had learned in school of the overpopulation crisis that had afflicted earth in the late 21st century, and the rising pollution levels on a global scale.
Scott could make out the outline of Earth, but they weren’t quite near enough to make anything out, but he was still filled with excitement. His voyage was nearing completion; his search for a new home was complete.
Looking down at Earth from orbit, Scotts hopes began to diminish. It didn’t look that different from Mars, and the green of lore was no where to be seen. And the Oceans he had been told stretched forever were nothing more than blue lines through unending yellow and grey. He broke away from the window, and prepared for reentry. He stepped into this seat, and flames shot past the windows. The G-Forces were enormous as the ship hurled downwards.
The ship stopped wit ha jerk as it set down. The doors opened, and Scott stepped out into blinding light. The heat was stifling, nothing like he expected. He looked around himself at the bottom of the staircase, and spotted something green in the distance. With nothing but sand surrounding him, he set off.
“In remembrance of our Failure,” read the plaque. Scott knelt at the base of an olive tree taken aback by the plaque. A glint caught his eye, and Scott brushed the sand off of a metal box, and pried it open. All that it contained was a letter, Scott unfolded it and read:
To those of the future,

This was our fault, a horrible tread that began in the 21st century. Hopefully the Last Tree is still there, that leaves some chance. We hope that the next time around humanity will do better. April 22nd was an old 20th century holiday, “Earth Day”. If only we could celebrate it now.

Those of Earth, April 22nd, 2770

The last one won the Earth Day writing contest at my school, and I know what you're thinking, I was too, "What? Why?" I don't know either.